Dec. 11th- alcoholism

If it wasn’t for the huge responsibility of trying to be a real adult I feel, or fear, I would be a huge alcoholic.

I love to relax with a strong martini, margarita, glass of wine, or cold beer. In stressful situations, which I seem to find myself in a lot these days, I find myself craving the days where I used to only have to go to class, write seven papers, and get inappropriately drunk on a Tuesday night with ten of my most irresponsible friends. Why can’t things go back to the simpler days? The days of hangovers and Friends marathons and nothing to lose.

Now I’m in bed by 8:00pm. Sober. And alone. I still have Friends marathons…by myself. But I don’t have the same kind of carefree fun. The worries of having to be responsible and the stress of knowing that people are depending on you is really sobering. I now have to think before I drink and god forbid I do drink during the week, I have to drink responsibly. I know, I bet you thought I couldn’t do that; it’s hard.

Further, my friends that were once in arms reach are so spread apart. We have to pencil in dates and hope that at least a few of us can meet. Of course all of us never can. And even then we can’t go out on a “week night” like we were once able to. Not without more severe repercussions.

Being a grown up sucks. Being a grown up makes me crave irresponsibility. To be young, and wild, and free is to be cherished. One day, if you choose to (attempt to) be responsible, that spontaneous, fabulous life will be gone. In its place will be the 60 year old lady at the bowling alley, after all the students have left, telling you the bar is open, she knows you want a drink; and you walking away texting plans to drink another day.

By megms

One comment on “Dec. 11th- alcoholism

  1. I have plenty of solo Friends marathons over here too. Maybe we could Facetime or Skype each other while we both watch Friends. Haha. Just today on my drive home (from happy hour) I started to appreciate having to be an adult with responsibilities. Haven’t quite figured out what changed and made me feel better about it. I’ll keep you updated as I figure it out (if I figure it out).

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