Today I went to a wonderful Indian lunch with two of my girlfriends. It was great to catch up and discuss our break and the holidays to come. Ultimately, like every conversation I seem to be in these days, it turned to marriage and boyfriends.
There is nothing wrong with this. Both of these things are a huge part of life and I am glad I have such wonderful friends to discuss them with. But both of these things also carry tremendous pressure. I love that marriages are becoming a part of my life. That is such a big milestone in one’s life and I am so thankful for those weddings I have been able to be a part of and to my married friends. I look forward to seeing many more of my friends hit this milestone and eventually enjoying it one day myself. However, I feel there is a lot of pressure for women my age to start getting to this event.
Last night my brother made a comment at dinner about my mother trying to hook him up with people. Her response was, “no, I’m working on Megan now. She is my project.” I laughed it off, but in reality I wanted to be like WTF. What is wrong with being single? I have friends who seem to be in perpetual relationships, falling in and out of “love” every few months with someone different. I don’t want to lead my life that way. I like having time to myself to discover who I want to be, and when I’m ready or when I meet the right person I will be more than willing to share my life with them, but I am not just going to date someone for the sake of being in a relationship, or because my mom wants me to.
Don’t get me wrong, I have felt the pressure to be in a relationship with someone, and I have been in relationships for that reason, but it isn’t fun. It takes all of the lust and intimate feelings out of it. I would rather ignore the social cues to settle down and learn to be happy by myself. If you can’t be happy by yourself then how can you be happy with someone? Especially when you only half-heartedly care for that other person.
People need to relax. Good things come to those who wait. Don’t rush yourself into a relationship that might not be worth it. Enjoy your 20’s, they only happen once, and don’t worry about your “internal clock.” Life shouldn’t be about the pressures, but about those wonderful lunches that you have with your girlfriends, and the first few snow flurries that I saw this afternoon. Cherish the small things, for one day you will be married and those little joys in life will be replaced with cooking and cleaning up someone else’s shit.
Side note: I still need to run. Today is my version of a rest day so I will only be doing a mile, hopefully two, on the treadmill. I am well within my calorie goal today and I actually did pretty well at dinner last night.