Night before 5k

This will be brief. I did really well with my diet this week until tonight when I had crab dip and cheese for dinner. Whoops. I tried to watch how much I ate though.

My race is in the morning. I will post about that tomorrow. I am in bed now resting up and I will be up early to heat my ankle and wait anxiously. Praying everything goes well. I was going to run outside today, just a mile, but that didn’t happen. My exercise has not been as frequent as I would’ve liked this week but I’m confident tomorrow will be fun.

Can’t wait!!

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By megms

nov. 29th- 0ff track

Apparently this thing is mis-dating my entries. So I will date them myself.

Today is Thursday, Nov. 29th. Two more days until my 5k. I ran on the treadmill tonight and in my opinion I kicked that treadmills ass. I am starting to get nervous for the race. I pick up my packet tomorrow. I think the course starts off with a hill and I really hope that doesn’t throw me off. But who cares. I will complete it. And I will be wearing my Santa hat and jingle bells (which I need to find or rob the mall Santa). I got a bit off track this week. I didn’t work out yesterday. I have been really, really tired after work and I don’t know why but I need to snap out of it. It depresses me when I don’t go for a run. Even though some days it is hard to get out there or downstairs, I always feel really good afterwards and it is really rewarding to know how I can push my body and see myself getting stronger with each run.

I am so thankful tomorrow is Friday. This week at work was pretty long. Bowling starts next week which means my days will only get longer. On the up side, being busy means the week goes by fast and with it being December, 25 days of Christmas will start on ABC Family. On the down side, bowling adds two more hours to my day where shit can hit the fan, and we all know how I enjoy a good outburst.

The highlight of my day today was when a student told me he was getting video games and a sledgehammer for Christmas. I asked what the sledgehammer was for and he couldn’t give me a concrete answer but he did reassure me that he was not going to use it to hurt himself. I know I’ve asked for some weird things before (like the year I switched from asking for a dog to asking for a reindeer. WTF was I thinking, if Santa wasnt going to get me a dog he sure as hell wasnt getting me a reindeer) but I’ve never asked for something as bizarre as a sledgehammer. Kids are weird.

So here begins my winter countdown:

26 days until Christmas

32 days until NYE

so far no snow days

By megms

moods

Today I don’t feel like doing anything. I have felt that way from the moment I woke up. I was in a rough mood, for not reason, and every little thing annoyed me. I made myself absolutely useless at work, until the end of the day when I semi-won a battle ive been fighting over athletic transportation. But honestly, I have sucked today. I am currently sitting in my workout clothes, not working out.

I think I need to start doing my treadmill runs in the morning. I have motivation all day to run outside but the second I leave work/get home all that motivation is replaced by sleepiness. If I can at least wake up and run a little on the treadmill, I can always go for an outside run later, but then I wont miss a workout. However, waking up earlier means waking up at oh, 4:50? at the latest for at least a half hour workout. That seems a big ridiculous, but I guess ill do what I have to do.

I’ve been living at home for a year now and am starting to feel that itch. Sadly, moving out (again) is not possible at this time. I am slightly worried living here might slowly drive me crazy or turn me into a spinster. With grad school starting in the spring and the county only paying for less than half, it just doesn’t even seem possible to move anyway, aside from an insane asylum. I try to look at the big picture, these years at home mean that one day I will be able to afford more than I can afford now. And a get a dog.

Tonight I still have hope to run at least a mile on the treadmill. Tomorrow I really want to run outside but I have a meeting after work and have no idea what time I will be home. Probably never. So ill probably end up back on the treadmill. Three more days until my 5k. I think I should be more concerned but for some reason I’m not. I guess we will see what happens on Saturday.

By megms

dreadmill

I always thought people were being dumb and wimpy when they called the treadmill the dreadmill, I used to like running on the treadmill, I don’t know what changed, but now I totally understand why it is nicknamed the dreadmill. I hate that damn thing. I’d much rather slip, or struggle, into my cold running gear and go outside. Today I got stuck running inside due to my two-hour nap with my cats. I live large. But I got 75% of my workout done before I just had to throw in the towel. No matter how many calf stretches I do, my calves on like the inside of my legs down by my ankles are killing me. I think I need to do more heat before I work out to stretch my muscles out a little more. My parents lack of heating the house is probably taking a toll on me.

Four more days until my first 5k. Maybe ill get the flu…kidding. I’m excited.

Disappointed it didn’t snow at all today. I really am not a fan of rain in the winter. Moving farther north is looking more and more intriguing.

With December approaching I should get started on my Holiday shopping. I am super excited for Christmas parties, Christmas, and New Years Eve!

Here’s to already hoping the holidays go smoothly and people don’t piss me off too much.

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How my bed looked when I woke up from my nap. I need a dog.

By megms

Day 7: the scale

First day back from Thanksgiving break went pretty smooth. I didn’t find the need to crawl under my desk and cry, and though some kids were hyped about the possible snow tomorrow, as am I, they were all pretty calm. Next week my schedule will start to get a bit crazy with bowling, but luckily that is only three days a week.

Last night when I did my run I ran for a longer time/distance interval than I usually do. I haven’t been able to do a continuous mile on the treadmill (outside I can) but last night I was able to do more than a mile straight! I was pretty excited. Today I oddly feel like I ran that mile even though I don’t always feel my normal 3 mile workouts. It feels good. I still need to run today.

I am making a not very healthy dinner. Pork wrapped in bacon, but it looks amazing! I’ll have to upload a picture when it is complete. Other than that I have had a good diet day.

I am slightly discouraged because of the scale. Why does the number on that damn scale matter so much? I’m starting to think I have a medical condition or something because no matter how little I eat and how much I exercise that number has been the same for the past three months. I can’t seem to get it to budge and I don’t know what else to do about it. It is very hard to feel like I am working so hard and then not see the results (number wise). I physically feel like I am looking better and I know I am more in shape than I was three months ago, but that number needs to move! No matter what people say about it’s how you look or how you feel and not about they number on the scale they are so wrong. Suck it positive people; that number matters!

With that said, I will continue to try my best to remain positive and motivated. I will continue to try to make healthier choices (no more bacon wrapped pork. did I mention it is also mustard and herb glazed?) and work out on a regular basis. I will overcome.

Side note: LET IT SNOW!!!

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By megms

Snow flurries and affairs

Today I went to a wonderful Indian lunch with two of my girlfriends. It was great to catch up and discuss our break and the holidays to come. Ultimately, like every conversation I seem to be in these days, it turned to marriage and boyfriends.

There is nothing wrong with this. Both of these things are a huge part of life and I am glad I have such wonderful friends to discuss them with. But both of these things also carry tremendous pressure. I love that marriages are becoming a part of my life. That is such a big milestone in one’s life and I am so thankful for those weddings I have been able to be a part of and to my married friends. I look forward to seeing many more of my friends hit this milestone and eventually enjoying it one day myself. However, I feel there is a lot of pressure for women my age to start getting to this event.

Last night my brother made a comment at dinner about my mother trying to hook him up with people. Her response was, “no, I’m working on Megan now. She is my project.” I laughed it off, but in reality I wanted to be like WTF. What is wrong with being single? I have friends who seem to be in perpetual relationships, falling in and out of “love” every few months with someone different. I don’t want to lead my life that way. I like having time to myself to discover who I want to be, and when I’m ready or when I meet the right person I will be more than willing to share my life with them, but I am not just going to date someone for the sake of being in a relationship, or because my mom wants me to.

Don’t get me wrong, I have felt the pressure to be in a relationship with someone, and I have been in relationships for that reason, but it isn’t fun. It takes all of the lust and intimate feelings out of it. I would rather ignore the social cues to settle down and learn to be happy by myself. If you can’t be happy by yourself then how can you be happy with someone? Especially when you only half-heartedly care for that other person.

People need to relax. Good things come to those who wait. Don’t rush yourself into a relationship that might not be worth it. Enjoy your 20’s, they only happen once, and don’t worry about your “internal clock.” Life shouldn’t be about the pressures, but about those wonderful lunches that you have with your girlfriends, and the first few snow flurries that I saw this afternoon. Cherish the small things, for one day you will be married and those little joys in life will be replaced with cooking and cleaning up someone else’s shit.

Side note: I still need to run. Today is my version of a rest day so I will only be doing a mile, hopefully two, on the treadmill. I am well within my calorie goal today and I actually did pretty well at dinner last night.

By megms

Colder Weather

I did my 5k training program at the park today where I will be running my first 5k. Hopefully next weekend the weather will be slightly more in my favor but I doubt it.
As I began my run in the 40 degree frigid air with 25 mph wind gusts my first thought was, “are you f-ing kidding me. What person in their right mind would voluntarily do this”. However, I soon warmed up and my run actually became quite enjoyable. I am very thankful that a few weeks ago I went out and purchased some amazing cold weather gear that not only protected me from the cold but really made running in the wind bearable. It is amazing what certain clothes can really do. I actually think now I would prefer to run in the cold than hot.
Even with my awesome clothes though, the cold definitely made my legs feel heavier and my pace was slower but I completed my workout as planned.
I also finally finished the Christmas lights. My fingers may be bleeding but I’m pretty sure this display will beat last years.

Tonight I have dinner out at a very nice restaurant. This is going to be another challenge that I will face on my journey. Going out to eat is definitely a weakness of mine. When I eat out I generally like to splurge, especially when it is a really nice restaurant. Today I think I will be okay because I have made healthy choices for breakfast and lunch and I am well within my calorie goal, however, it is hard to tell since restaurants seem to try to sneak extra calories in wherever they can.
One of the main things I do to try and make healthier choices when eating out is to look at the menu ahead of time. That way I know if I am going to be eating a more high calorie meal, my other meals should be lighter and I should definitely exercise. Also, sometimes I will choose a few dishes that should be lower in calories and only choose from those, or though chefs probably hate me for it, choose and modify a dish to make it more diet friendly.
For tonight, I’ve looked at the menu and already narrowed down my choices. I also will definitely be getting dessert since that is my favorite meal and ill factor that in when ordering.
One of my favorite sayings is, “I run so I can eat” and oh how true that is.
I am excited that tomorrow is only Sunday and I still have another day off. Going back to work on Monday should be dreadful but I heard a rumor about snow, which whether or not it happens Should make the kids crazy and guarantee ill want to punch myself. Can’t wait.

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By megms

Illnesses

Shit day. I probably slept more today than I have in the past two weeks. Thanksgiving and endless alcohol seemed to have gotten the best of me. (I woke up in the bathroom with my head on the tub. whoops) How do you deal with this when you want to stick to your plan? I guess that’s what I have to work on.
I enjoy drinking but I hate the hangover. It’s one of those everything in moderation things and I’m really bad at moderation. On the plus side I stayed we’ll within my calorie goal. On the down side I feel like santas butt and I didn’t go for a run. Unless you count running to the bathroom.
Being hungover doesn’t just have a negative impact on my health but it disrupts all my plans for the day. I didn’t make it to a party I was supposed to go to and for that my hangover turns me into a sad excuse for a friend.
This is definitely something ill need to work on over the holiday season as drinking seems to go hand in hand with holidays.
Tomorrow I plan to run the course that ill be running for my first 5k in a week. Hopefully I don’t pass out. Or fall in that filthy excuse of a lake.

By megms

Excuses

Holidays are rough. Especially for finding time to exercise and eat healthy. Thanksgiving is probably the hardest for most people. For me, it’s just another meal and I don’t really care for turkey. But I still tend to overload on all the other crap and I can never pass up a good dessert.
Today, so soon into my quest, I struggled. I knew I really needed to run; even just a mile. Instead I laid in my bed until two after eating a smoked salmon bagel, finally getting up to mess around with the Christmas lights. When that got boring I decided I should go get some chicken wings because what thanksgiving is complete without hot wings. Sadly, the place was closed. I then found myself wandering the isles of the liquor store fraught with hunger and boredom, still procrastinating my run. $30 and a stop to starbucks later I am home in front of the stove making queso. I know, not healthy, but I told myself it was the holidays.
All day long I had been telling myself that. “It’s okay to lay in bed until two Megan, it’s thanksgiving”, “it’s okay to eat queso and chips for lunch before a big dinner, it’s thanksgiving”, “it’s okay to skip your run today Megan, it’s thanksgiving” but then I had that small whisper in the back of my head telling me to suck it up and get my fat ass on the treadmill. Today I am thankful that, that voice won. I went downstairs, and though it may have been a pitiful mile run, I ran.
Moving past making excuses for myself is one of my biggest hurdles. It’s funny because once I do go for that run, or pass up the fried food, I feel a hundred times better. It’s just getting in the mindset that is hard.
I am now sitting around with my family in my post run glory enjoying my purchase of santas butt. Happy thanksgiving.

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By megms

My feminist rant

This is the only time I will go on this rant…

When I run outside I usually listen to music, though there are times where I just like to run and listen to the busy sounds of the neighborhood or park, but lately the music has been Taylor Swift’s new CD, “red”. Say what you want; I like it. A lot of her songs actually make me sort of upset. What happened to our society that women fall into such broken relationships? Why is it that there are battered women’s shelters but you hardly ever hear of a battered man? Where did women go wrong that they accept such pitiful love?

Personally, I can’t say much for myself. I, thanks to “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” have generally accepted the love I think I deserve. In reality I deserve so much more. We all deserve so much more. I look around at my friends, some of which are in “perfect” relationships or marriages and others that I wonder why they are with that person. Maybe that is the perfect person for them, who is to say they aren’t, but what if they do deserve more? I would hate to see any of my friends put down by a man, but it happens in more ways than the obvious and more times than I’d like to think.

What happened in our society to make us women seem so weak? It’s everything- the partners we choose, the way we look, the way we act, how we dress, where we go, who we hang out with. All of these things seem to be dependent on our partner or trying to obtain a partner. Even for myself, I am trying to lose weight to become healthier and be happier with myself, but it would also make me more attractive to others. Life shouldn’t be about working towards pleasing someone else all the time. We should be trying to please ourselves. You only have one body and one life, don’t waste it on someone who is too selfish to appreciate how wonderful you are, who can’t bother to ask if you want the last piece of chicken, who won’t argue with you about going out with your girlfriends, and who judges you for the amount of cellulite you have. Loving yourself is worth so much more than being loved by someone who makes you feel bad.

I wish women, who have worked so hard to gain independence, equal rights, and respect, would act like they actually wanted to be treated with such respect. I don’t understand how in this day and age we are still so dependent on our male counterpart to provide us with both material things and fulfill our emotional needs. This is not to say I don’t want to be married with a husband I adore and who adores me right back and a bunch of cute kids, I do want that, desperately, it’s just we need to remember we are independent women and should be strong independently. Take control of your life. Don’t let others put you down. Reevaluate what you deserve because I bet you it’s 100% more than you think.

 

Side note: it’s my brothers 21st birthday. I probably will not stick to my calorie goal, but I did run a mile and a half and walked a half mile.

By megms